Tuesday, August 24, 2010
idk @ 11:48 PM
i had been thinking and facing alot of negative thinkings..
i dunno y, i dunno how to describe it..
it is somehow becos of dad, and somehow abit from gossips..
i think of my studies realli scared i cant make it again..
i very afraid of getting my final year results when haven even started my exams yet..
i had a feeling of habing no frenz, no besties all ard..
and gonna b all alone once again..as this trend had been going on every single year,every single week and day..
shld say that habing lots of communication or lost e interest in everything?
i had a feeling hat i had gone so deep that not study will b infront of the computer doing nth..
not going out, not doing anything but went deep into my freaking books..
i realli felt that frenz are lyk some kinds of temporary stuff that wont last long, and will always goes off wif their own life and had gone far away from you
love is kind of nth, no feeling to me now..
i dun even hab e love towards people like i had in the past
i felt that i gt a face of cold-blooded, no emotion part of me..
i can be so lifeless to i dunno what state..
i dunno when, but i noe is when i said that i wanna work hard extremely hard to let my mum happi and being proud of myself and to frenz that had faith in mi..
thats was wad i wanna target which makes mi
tis was wad makes mi gone no feeling for everything..
i felt tt i gt e influence by my cousin who is in jc now..
who always wanna strive lots..
i dun lyk to b lk her..wif a veri bad attitude..
but i cant turn back the time and dere will b some days/ ways to amend bck wad i had did tis past few months, habing a veri freaking big problem wif my attitude towards frenz, family and my plans of striving..
this few weks i was thinking veri negative abt besties..but when im wif them..
every negative stuff had juz gone lyk in a flash..
i dunno y..i always tot is kinda waste time..
i dunno how to say it..kinda weird
i hoping i can go bck to my real life..
this life looks so fake..it looks lyk a dream aft all..
when will i wake up from my life?
i duno wad to say..
i realli not myself anymore..
i had chng to a veri different me
i spoke lesser than b4, i do more than b4, went ot lesser than b4, using com lesser and shorter, studying more than b4..
is not e slacking, happy-go-lucky, talkative, fooling ard, last minute revision ADELLA.
is e one that studying alot, no last minute work, no slacking most of the time, no more communication, in her own book world ADELLA
joanne,
i dunno wad happen to u out of the sudden..
u suddenly dun hab the mood to tok, became so emo and i dunno how,
when i saw ur dp, i saw e status that u posted,
i felt e sadness in u..
but im onli can say sorry that i only noe how to say words to confort you and onli the words was sorry,miss you, love you, wanna meet you up soon again and other crap words..
but what you thinking in you, i cant fell it and i dun noe at all..
i think is realli hard to keep stuff to urself.
hope can hab toks =]